Question

I feel like I'm cheating every time I shake someone's hand. Do I have a masturbation problem?

Stamina

I can go for days without peeing. I think it has something to do with me crying in my pillow every night.

Cashiers Are Weird

Cashiers look at you funny when you buy three cans of Vaseline and a bag of candy.

Relationship.

So my parents don't approve my new relationship. Apparently "goats belong on a farm".
Whatever.

Mexican Food

You know you've had too much Mexican food last night if you feel sleepy after taking a shit.

Whole Foods

Somehow I get lots of dirty looks when I shop at the Whole Foods. Especially when I ask to wrap each potato in an individual plastic bag.

Who Gives a Fuck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVHAd3jwZy0

Surgery

So I had a penis enlargement surgery recently to please my girlfriend. And that turned out to be a waste of time cos I don't have a girlfriend.

Just a Thought

I definitely need to make some drastic changes in my life. And by life I mean my facebook page.

Maturity

I keep noticing how immature I am sometimes. Two days ago I was seating in the auditorium thinking about threesome sex with my teacher while waiting for my lecture to start. And then I'm like: "Seriously?! What is wrong with me?! We don't have lectures on Sundays!" Ugh.